THOSE WHO LIVE IN DARKNESS WONDER AIMLESSLY

 Its not fair

Why do I have to be so weak?

Why cant I be strong?

Am I asking to much to be able to care for myself?

I rely on others for everything

I want them to make me feel ok

When will I learn that they dont really care for me at all

This guy that I just meet yesterday came over today

He smiled at me and said hi

I just kinda glanced at him never looking from the ground and said hello

He shrugged and walked away

Why does that always happen to me

He was nice and he was lots of things a guy should be

He was strong and he knew that others didnt matter

Why can't I be like him

Why can't I get over things so quickly

They asked if i wanted to go swim with them

I declined but why did I?

Im not sure I think its just a habit

They looked at me like I was crazy

I almost said alright Ill go but i just looked back at the ground

When will I learn that I need to take chances

I need to have fun

How can I help others when I cant help myself

I dont know and I really dont care anymore

Im giving up on this think called a "social life"

It didnt exist for me anyways

Ill go back to what I used to be before I realized what i was missing out on

But the more I think the more I realize

Ive always had a social life

Ive always had friends

What would I do without them?

How could I be without them?

 Then this brings me close to tears

As I wonder if its not just High School drama

That is bringing me to this lowly stage

Or is that I was really all along really meant to be so emotional

Every quizz that I take always tell me

That while I am helpful

Im also quite sad and lonely inside

But then I think how can this be?

So many people care for me

I wonder why they do but I cant think of a reason

Now Im running short of things to say

So I guess Ill say Goodbye for now

And think upon these thoughts of mine until I understand

Alex: Ello

Cassie: Hi

Alex:bout time you answered back lol how are you?

Cassie: fine i guess

Alex: you guess?

Cassie: and i wasnt in the room so of course it took awhile

Alex: ah

Alex: whats wrong?

Cassie: same as always

Alex: brett?

Cassie: on top of numerous other things of course

Alex: well im here if you wanna talk about it. maybe thatll get some of your chest

Cassie:i already did rant about it to u

Alex: on the phone?

Cassie: no in a comment

Alex: oh when did you leave the comment? my myspace is acting up and if i get anything new it wont tell me

Cassie: yesterday night

Cassie: b4 i went to bed

Alex: ok ill check it in a sec

Cassie: kk

Alex: im sry cassie. your not the worlds worst friend. your an awesome friend. as as for my gf sry, i didnt think that would upset you. im sry

Cassie: mmm yeah kinda....jenni even knew b4 i did....

Alex: how did she know?

Cassie: bus

Alex: what do you mean?

Cassie: pplz were talking about it on the bus she rides.

Cassie: with Guy and all them

Alex: umm guy was talking about it?

Cassie: yeah

Alex: wierd

Cassie: it was wierd...id rather not xplain it

Alex: ok? good or bad?

Cassie: depends on someones point of view

Alex: ?

Cassie: it depends on the person

Alex: what was he saying?

Cassie: O.O not him someone else

Cassie: Guy was nice

Alex: oh lol

Cassie: but iono ask Jenni she was there

Alex: do you like me? cuz theres been a few times where you kinda act like it. ???

Cassie: umm ur my brother

Alex: yeah i know that

Cassie: ....

Alex: ?

Cassie: wat?

Alex: well you get upset when i get a new gf and dont tell you

Cassie: well i like to know these things

Cassie: that way im informed

Cassie: and i just prefer hearing it from the person not 2nd hand

Alex: well i didnt have chance to tell you. and i usually dont think about it. id rather talk about other stuff when im with my friends. i dont wanna sound like m worshipping my gf.

Cassie: mmmmmk

Cassie: w\e dont matter the past is the past

Alex: yeah but the past hurts you alot. and it pisses me off when you get hurt and i cant do anything about it

Alex: how else am i supposed to feel?
Cassie: umm fine?

Alex: not if your gettin hurt

Cassie: i selpt on it im fine

Alex: promise?

Cassie: do i really have to answer this?

Alex: yes

Alex: truthfully

Cassie: hmm about ur part im fine

Cassie: some other things not so fine

Alex: like what?

Cassie: mmm u havent read Jenni's new name have u?

Alex: no what it is?

Cassie: -!*!J.T.O.A.P.!*!-(&sryestfriendEVER!)

Alex: the JTOAP?

Alex: i asked her what that was but she wouldnt tell me

Cassie: no the 2nd part

Cassie: &sryest friendEVER!

Alex: can you space that out plz

(i switched text at this point)

Cassie: &sryestbestfriendEVER!

Alex:sryest best friend ever?

Cassie: yeah

Alex: is this another prank?
Cassie: no this is for real

Alex: what happened?

Cassie: well she asked me to call her so i did

Cassie: i was reading over some French phrases that i like and i told her to repeat after me

Cassie: well she repeated everything

Cassie: and then JR and Shellie and Trevor and Tommy all did it too

Cassie: so i got annoyed

Cassie: and asked her to stop

Cassie: but she wouldnt

Cassie: so i got really mad

Cassie: and hung up on her

Cassie: then later i was talking to her and she took too long to reply

Cassie: so i got more aggravated

Cassie: and called myself the worst bestfriends ever

Cassie: which made her feel bad

Cassie: cuz she had to go really quickly cuz her mom was yelling for her

Alex: so you two are fighting?
Cassie: we are ok now....but i still feel bad...

Cassie: i mean i made her feel like she wasnt worth my time or sumthing..

Cassie: and i shouldnt have done it...

Cassie: i dont wanna talk about it nymore

(i was about to cry at this point)

Alex: ok

Alex: well just know this. everybody makes mistakes

Cassie: just typing makes me feel bad

Alex: its human nature

Cassie: i seem to make them all the time

Alex: as long as you learn from them yo should be fine

Alex: and maybe you do make alot. but its ok to make alot of mistakes. because you still have your friends in the end.

Cassie: i never learn from them ill do the same thing who knos how much into the future

Cassie: i burst too easy...and i shouldnt...i should be patient....maybe i should give up class leader...leaders shouldnt have short tempers....

Alex: nobody's perfect cassie. but its those imperfections that make us who we are. if you try to be perfect then your a nobody. and yes you are gonna make the same mistakes in the future. i do it all the time. but dont let it get you down all the time

Cassie: well i try to hard to be "perfect" ask nybody i never think nything i do is good enough

Alex: dont think that nothing you do is good enough. just do the best you can do.

Cassie: cant help it...i was so used to being perfect...everyong always said i was....and now im not...and part of me still wants to be...

Cassie: ....least thats wat i got out of it....

Alex: nobody is perfect. and it is wrong that everybody said that you were cuz your not, but you are a really good friend. you just make mistakes. just like everybody else. it doesnt need to get you down.

Cassie: well it does

Cassie: i cant help it

Cassie: i try not to think of it

Cassie: but i do

Alex: maybe you just need to hang out with your friends more often and get some of this off of your mind.

Cassie: im trying to hang out with Cate today but i have to wait for her to call....

Alex: oh. well i would come and hang out with you today but i gotta go to band practice in like 5 min. and i dont know whats going on after that

Cassie: mk...iono if i even am...Amber(not Vanhouten) said that she was going to pick me up but im not sure....

Alex: im sry.

Cassie: me too

Alex: for what

Cassie: iono

Alex: itll be alright i promise

Cassie: mk...

Alex: and you know my number if im not on and you really need to talk. im always here for you. i promise

Cassie: i kno

Alex: well i g2g. i want you to take it easy. go for a walk, take a nap, or sumthing. sumthing that will get all the stress off of your mind. k?

Cassie: hmm so sending Jenni Im Srry comments wouldnt qualify right?

Alex: send her one maybe two and then take it easy

Cassie: mmm right...ill try and limit myself...

Cassie: bye

Cassie: ttyl

Cassie: like tomorrow maybe tonight

Alex: ttyl

Alex: ok

Alex: ill be back at 530 maybe esih and im not then im at my gf's house which is pretty close to jeni moran's house if you wanna come by then. call my first though. bye

Cassie: mk bye

 

 

 

 

Suggested Tags: cassie, wheres cassie, cassie is missing, jenni loves alex

HAHA^

im sure ull do fine...and i was TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT!....goshness...had to ruin it didnt u?(i am joking here dont take me seriously...(the whole goshness had to ruin it didnt u part i mean)) ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:51 PM no and right now I really could care less ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:50 PM .....ooooooooook.........nywayz.......think ur gonna pass the exam tomorrow? ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:49 PM right ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:45 PM the problem that i cant kno about? ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:43 PM how I feel on our problem and try and work it out ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:42 PM ....its ok...i guess.....and wat ya mean u tried to tell Teresa how u feel...how u feel about figuring w..e it is out urself?....and work wat out....im confused ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:40 PM well i'm sorry I tried to tell teresa how I feel and try aand work it out and she hasent messaged me back at this was 20 minutes ago ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:38 PM no im not that mad....but i was....trust me....u didnt even want to know how mad i was at you....but Jessi knows....cuz she ended up having to talk to me on the phone i was sooo mad at u...and a few other pplz.... ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:36 PM well at least your not that mad at me anymore cuz I said sorry ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:35 PM .....normally at this i would be mad...but at least u said srry....this time ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:33 PM Im sorry but no you cant ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:31 PM can i at least kno wat "things like this" is? ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:30 PM I'm not that type of person I have to do things like this on my own ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:29 PM .....sumtimes its better to get help and u just have to get over urself and ask for it ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:27 PM I dont want anyones help I want to be able to solve it on my own and I cant and I refuse to get any help ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:26 PM well i have no idea y u r so frickin p-oed now maybe if u would tell me i would be able to help! ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:25 PM and I still havent solved it yet ok so get off my back why do you think i'm so fucking pissed off ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:23 PM Sent on Friday....but never happened...."too busy" "From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 12, 2006 1:45 PM let me message you back later ok I'm having a problem that only teresa can solve. " ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:21 PM no just tell me what i suposivly said I was going to do ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:20 PM do i have to send u the message? ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:20 PM what are you talking about I never said I was going to do anything this weekend ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:18 PM ....lets see....u said u would do sumthing Friday....and i gave u all weekend to do it.....and it wasnt done.......u were obviously...."too busy" ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:16 PM fine then if your not going to tell me then I'm done talking ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:13 PM wat does it matter.......ill just tell u and ull apologize and do it again.....same thing as always.....so wats the use...maybe this way the process would end..... ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:11 PM well then what is it ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:10 PM ....i got over that a long time ago..... ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:10 PM what is it that I dont say hi to you or talk to you much anymore well I dont do that to a lot of people that I used to and there mad at me to so get in line ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:08 PM ....figures.....u never know...though i hint at it all the time.....but who cares.....i give up.....im just not gonna try anymore...... ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:06 PM oh well thats just great just when I thought my day couldnt get any worse you have to say your po ed at me. what the fuck did I do know? ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:05 PM ......and at the moment im sooo po-ed at u i wish u were too...but u wouldnt kno that ur always too busy! ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:03 PM you know right now i wish i wasnt alive at all ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 10:02 PM well srry for caring ill attempt to stop since that is wat u so obviosly want ever so badly right now ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 8:01 PM well good cuz I dont want anyone caring about me right now and that includes teresa too. ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 9:59 PM fine....i guess i dont care anywayz......ill just go and have a happy day with absolutely nothing to do but wonder but hey wat do i care right? ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 7:57 PM because i dont want to talk about it ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 9:56 PM Y?!?! ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 7:56 PM no ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 9:55 PM ....explain.... ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 7:54 PM EVERYTHING AND I MRAN EVERYTHING!!!!!!! ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 9:53 PM wats so bad about here? ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 7:52 PM I would just rather be any wherethen here right now and well actually for like ever ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 9:50 PM ys that ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 7:48 PM right now I wish I were ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Kassi Date: May 15, 2006 9:45 PM oh goody....ur moving far far away....wat fun ----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: .B.r.e.t.t. Date: May 15, 2006 7:23 PM Body: IT'S PRETTY FUNNY THAT YOU OPENED THIS because in the next seven days you will: 1. have someone fall in love with you 2. find a $20.00 bill on the ground 3. kiss/make-out with the person you like 4.your best friend will get you a really nice gift BUT... first you will have to repost this with this title: I'M moving__________(random place) Repost this and see how many people you scare!!

1. Do you like anyone?: nooo

 2. Do they know it?: ummm YEAH!!!

 3. Simple or Complicated? ummm due like soo frickin simple

- T H E - L A S T - M O N T H - H A V E - Y O U

4. Ran a mile: yeah

5. Bought something: umm sure?

 6. Been sick: yes...

 7. Been hugged?: yes

 8. Felt stupid?: yes

 9. Talked to an ex: yes

10. Missed someone: yes

11. Failed a test: i got a 92!!

 13. Danced: no

 14. Gotten your hair cut?:no

 UNIQUE?

16. Nervous habits?: umm....yeah...PACING!!!....TALKING REALLLLLY FAST!.....ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS!!!........BEING OVERPREPARED

 17. Are you double jointed?:no

18. Can you roll your tongue?: no

 19. Can you raise one eyebrow?: lol without the other one going up?...sure?....i think...

 20. Can you cross your eyes:yeah

 21. Do you make your bed daily?:NOPE

 22. Do you think you are unique?:nope

  H A V E - Y O U - E V E R'S

23. Said "I Love you": yes

24. Given money to a homeless person?:i kno

 25. Went to a party?: yea

26. Waited all night for a phone call?: no

 27. Snuck out?: yea

28. Sat and looked at the stars?: its been a long time but yea

 STUFF

29. Do you swear/curse?:NO!

30. Do you ever spit?:no, its not..."lady like" lol

31. You cook your own food?: yea sumtimes

32. You do your own chores?: yea..

33. You like beef jerky?:yea..but i havent had much in a while..

34. You like pepsi or coke?epsi

35. You're happy with your hair?: no

36. You own a dog?: yes

37. You spend your money wisely?:um sure?

38. Do you like to swim?: yes!!!!

39. when you get bored do you call your friends? yeah...

 D O - Y O U - P R E F E R'S

41. Flowers or Candy? flowers

42. Grey or Black? black

43. Color or black and white photos?: matters the picture

 44. Lust or love?: Love

45. Sunrise or sunset?: Sunset

46. M&Ms or Skittles?: Skittles

47. Rap or rock?: rock

48. Staying up late or waking up early?: stay up late (!!!!)...

49. Being hot or cold?: cold...

50. Winter or Fall?: winter

51. Left or right?: right

52. Having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends?: 2 best friends

53. Sunshine or rain?: rain

54. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?: vanilla i guess...*gasp*...lol

HAVE YOU EVER...

55. Stolen money from a friend?: Never

56. Had a crush on a teacher? hahahahahahhahaa..NO

57. Seen someone die?:no

58. Been on an airplane?: yup

59. Slept all day?: yes

60. Missed someone so much it hurt?: no

61. Fallen asleep during school?: yea...i did it today!! lol

62. Been lonely?: Yes, ever since a couple of events happened involving a certain someone...

63. Cheated in a game?: nah

64. Been to the ER?: yes

65. Been in a car accident?: nope

66. Had detention?: no

67. Skipped detention?: yea..cause i didnt have it? lol

68. Cried yourself to sleep?: yes

69. Done something you told yourself you'd never do again?: OH yes

70. Sung in the shower?: yup

71. Hooked up with more than 2 people in 1 weekend?: hooked up as in?....

72. Laughed so hard you cried?: ...a VERY long time ago it seems

73. Not been able to remember your night? yes

74. Regretted hurting someone?: ..i dont hurt someone.i think?

75. Regretted loving someone?: yes

76. Ever been SUPER happy?: yet again...a VERY long time ago

DO YOU ...

77. Want to get married?: Sooner or later

78. Want Kids?: sure...

79. Have a special someone?: not at the moment

80. Have plans for the weekend?: yes

81: Love your family?: yes

82: Believe in God?: yes

83: Go to school/College?: high school

84: Have a Hero?: nah

85: Have a secret?: yes

86. Have a celebrity crush? no

87. Have a best friend?: a couple..more like...3 or 4

88. Have a favorite movie?: no

WHAT DO YOU PREFER IN A GUY/GIRL?

89. Hair color: any

90. Eyes: any

91: Perfume/Cologne: yummy?

92: Style: any

93: Sense of Humor: yes

94: Kiss or hug?: both

95. Height: not shorter..i would feel kinda..weird..cause i am short lol

96: Muscle: lol yes WOULD YOU EVER ...

97. Go bungee jumping?: no

98. Date a balding guy?: nah?

99. Pierce your tongue?: nah

100. Tell your crush that you like them first?: no..it just leads to trouble